Heartcrossings
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Friday, July 10, 2009
Truth And Hypothesis
A July 2008 Wired cover story titled The End of Science, resonates with my own experience with data and analytics - specially in light of the battles that one has to wage with those who firmly believe that there a priori needs a statistical model to proceed with analytics. Apparently, analysis means nothing without a hypothesis. I believe with the right tools, the data should speak for itself - the models are not necessary.
This is however a hard case to make for someone (like myself) who is approaching the problem from a common-sense and industry experience standpoint without having a string of accreditations and doctorates appended to their name to lend gravitas to their perspective. Folks like us don't earn the respect of the pure math nerds very easily. They tend to view us as slackers who want to bypass the rigors of the scientific method. So we soldier on, hobbled by models and hypothesis that are not even directionally consistent with what the data says about itself.
It was heartening to see this idea echoed by Google's research director Peter Norvig who says of statistical models "All models are wrong, and increasingly you can succeed without them". The skills and talents of statisticians are much better served in finding the dominant patterns in sets of correlated data. They can help whittle the field from 100s of X's that result in a Y to a handful of the most high-value ones. Forcing a model on data is almost detrimental in that you can spend the bulk of your time disproving the hypothesis and search for one that will stick. What is more, you could miss out on the real story the data has to tell.
This is however a hard case to make for someone (like myself) who is approaching the problem from a common-sense and industry experience standpoint without having a string of accreditations and doctorates appended to their name to lend gravitas to their perspective. Folks like us don't earn the respect of the pure math nerds very easily. They tend to view us as slackers who want to bypass the rigors of the scientific method. So we soldier on, hobbled by models and hypothesis that are not even directionally consistent with what the data says about itself.
It was heartening to see this idea echoed by Google's research director Peter Norvig who says of statistical models "All models are wrong, and increasingly you can succeed without them". The skills and talents of statisticians are much better served in finding the dominant patterns in sets of correlated data. They can help whittle the field from 100s of X's that result in a Y to a handful of the most high-value ones. Forcing a model on data is almost detrimental in that you can spend the bulk of your time disproving the hypothesis and search for one that will stick. What is more, you could miss out on the real story the data has to tell.
Labels: Science, Technology
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Needless Science
Got to love it when shrink and science come together to restate the obvious. This study seems to suggest the higher up you are socio-economically, the less likely you are to engage with your fellow humans. The simple one-word equivalent for the bunch scientific gobbledygook in the article is probably snobbish.
Then there is this other one that has scientific proof that women are attracted to manly men. It does not qualify the term "manly" so one assumes that definitions could be subjective. At any rate, the value of a scientific study to prove such a thing is just as hard to fathom as needing to establish that wealth and arrogance often go together.
Surely, nature has not run of mysteries to be solved that can keep the scientific community gainfully engaged and also do the rest of us some good. Maybe that is asking for too much.
Then there is this other one that has scientific proof that women are attracted to manly men. It does not qualify the term "manly" so one assumes that definitions could be subjective. At any rate, the value of a scientific study to prove such a thing is just as hard to fathom as needing to establish that wealth and arrogance often go together.
Surely, nature has not run of mysteries to be solved that can keep the scientific community gainfully engaged and also do the rest of us some good. Maybe that is asking for too much.
Labels: Science
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Usability Lesson
Love this Swiss Army Knife style makeover of the kitchen knife. People often have kitchen drawers full of equipment to chop, cut, peel, pare and more and yet there is one knife that becomes the trusted favorite which gets used all the time - put to uses it was not even intended for. With a knife that is actually made to be multi-functional, we have design imitating and enabling the actual behavior of it's users. If this is not great usability, I don't know what is.That is concept and then there is reality-check. All of the commentators to this story say they would not like to use this knife because they fear it would injure them.
I find this idea and the reception to it most instructive because it translates to web usability as well. Copious amounts of time, effort and money is spent on usability by companies who want to do right by the users of their websites. Yet, when the site is made "right" to align with the perceived needs and preferences of the users, often the results are a complete disappointment to them. Maybe there is a gap between our desires and actions that simply cannot be measured and therefore never fully satisfied.
I find this idea and the reception to it most instructive because it translates to web usability as well. Copious amounts of time, effort and money is spent on usability by companies who want to do right by the users of their websites. Yet, when the site is made "right" to align with the perceived needs and preferences of the users, often the results are a complete disappointment to them. Maybe there is a gap between our desires and actions that simply cannot be measured and therefore never fully satisfied.
Labels: Gizmo, Technology
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Information Ocean
J often gets homework assignments that involves researching for information to write a report or complete a project. The topics are fairly straight forward being that the "researchers" are only 6-8 years old. I usually help her find the information from credible sources on the Internet and will check out some books from the local library if time permits.
Watching this video about the role of a school librarian in the 21st century gave me much food for thought. Specially when the librarian featured in it talks about growing up in an information desert whereas kids today are in an information ocean and drowning in it. Information fluency is as she points out is a crucial survival skill in the world that J and her peers are growing up in. It is just as if not more important than learning to read for these kids.
There is just too much information out there and not knowing to navigate successfully can determine whether they will sink or swim in this "ocean". A big take away for me from watching this is to start teaching J to find her way around search engines and be able to tell good information apart from the bad. You can't emphasize to kids soon enough that credibility is not conferred on a piece of information just because it showed up in Google search.The importance of this had not fully registered with me until hearing from a vanguard of library science and its use in elementary schools.
Watching this video about the role of a school librarian in the 21st century gave me much food for thought. Specially when the librarian featured in it talks about growing up in an information desert whereas kids today are in an information ocean and drowning in it. Information fluency is as she points out is a crucial survival skill in the world that J and her peers are growing up in. It is just as if not more important than learning to read for these kids.
There is just too much information out there and not knowing to navigate successfully can determine whether they will sink or swim in this "ocean". A big take away for me from watching this is to start teaching J to find her way around search engines and be able to tell good information apart from the bad. You can't emphasize to kids soon enough that credibility is not conferred on a piece of information just because it showed up in Google search.The importance of this had not fully registered with me until hearing from a vanguard of library science and its use in elementary schools.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Teen Relationships
Some years ago, after the book Rainbow Party was published, it fell to disgrace because the material was a little too sensationalist to lack credibility - at least in the opinion of its critics. Once again the issue of oral sex becoming commonplace for pre-teens and teens in America, is making news and a documentary. Until parents start to become ostriches with heads buried in the sands of denial, this story will likely do its rounds, get discussed and commented on.
Film-maker Sharlene Azam hits the nail on its head when she traces back the behavior of these pretty girls from affluent backgrounds who by their own admission have had wonderful childhoods. In short, there is no reason for them to engage in casual prostitution. She believes that many of them have been hurt and in love and do what they do to protect themselves from bing hurt again.
The answer may be in getting girls to value themselves very highly and recognize that there are many other accomplishments in life that are worth pursuing besides being in a relationship - specially one that expects sexual favors to sustain. Needless to say, positive and empowering female role models are very important in the lives of young girls.
A sense of purpose, a healthy self-esteem and a generous dash of ambition can act as effective deterrents against such reckless behavior. A girl who is driven to achieve and excel is less likely to need validation from a boy. She is likely to get a lot of male attention even without seeking it because she exudes so much charm and confidence. That would do enough to boost her confidence as a desirable woman. Her goal should not be to be the one who is most willing to offer sexual favors to have boyfriend, instead she be so far above the fray that she would never need to settle for anything short of a deeply loving and respectful relationship.
Film-maker Sharlene Azam hits the nail on its head when she traces back the behavior of these pretty girls from affluent backgrounds who by their own admission have had wonderful childhoods. In short, there is no reason for them to engage in casual prostitution. She believes that many of them have been hurt and in love and do what they do to protect themselves from bing hurt again.
Azam said she thinks the "no strings attached" romances could be a defense mechanism against a greater disappointment.
"A lot of girls are disappointed in love," she said. "And I think they believe they can hook up the way guys do and not care.
"But unfortunately, they do care."
The answer may be in getting girls to value themselves very highly and recognize that there are many other accomplishments in life that are worth pursuing besides being in a relationship - specially one that expects sexual favors to sustain. Needless to say, positive and empowering female role models are very important in the lives of young girls.
A sense of purpose, a healthy self-esteem and a generous dash of ambition can act as effective deterrents against such reckless behavior. A girl who is driven to achieve and excel is less likely to need validation from a boy. She is likely to get a lot of male attention even without seeking it because she exudes so much charm and confidence. That would do enough to boost her confidence as a desirable woman. Her goal should not be to be the one who is most willing to offer sexual favors to have boyfriend, instead she be so far above the fray that she would never need to settle for anything short of a deeply loving and respectful relationship.
Labels: Culture, Parenting, Relationships, Society
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Playing To Win
G is like my kid brother and is given to checking on me every once in a while. I wish he lived closer, so J could have a sense of extended family. His child is less than a year old and would fulfill J's strong desire to be someone's big sister.
He and his wife have tried to socialize with desis in their city (they have lived in several up to now) and have faced challenges not very unlike my own. I used to imagine that desis are very accepting of two parent families as they view this to be the normal family configuration. Apparently not.
G has lived in America since he came for grad school, worked almost every kind of odd job there is to help pay his bills as a student. He is not the lowest common denominator desi IT worker in that he has a wide variety of interests outside his day job and can carry on an intelligent conversation that has nothing to do with technology or immigration. He happens to be a Bengali who like me never lived in Kolkata. He would love to be part of something pan-Indian in America but that is not the easiest thing to find as he has come to realize.
The desi society here is fragmented in many different ways - FOBs, ABCDs, by region and language, by vintage (as defined by visa and citizenship status) and most importantly by net-worth. This is almost the modern day caste system only with different parameters to define the different stratas of the hierarchy. G says, the minute he encounters a desi, he can almost hear a the click of their mental calculator going on. He is asked the typical questions - Does he own or rent ? Which school district does he live in ? How far along is he in the immigration process ? Where did he go to school in India and America ? What does he do for a living ? Does his wife work ? What does he drive and so on.
By when he has completed the de regieur survey, the other desi has awarded him a composite score. This score would determine if he is in or out of their social circle. He could choose to be in and be treated with condescension if the desi in question rated him lower than themselves. Conversely he could have been rated higher than the other person in which case he would be treated like an interloper if he decided to butt into their circle.
The best outcome in this situation would be an equal score where he will be accepted without overt prejudice. But it gets tricky at this point. Every one is at the start line but desis don't just spend their life standing there smelling the roses. They dash off to reach their destinations and the race is brutally competitive. There is no aspect of life that is untouched by competition.
You either play the sport or step out to be a low caliber bench warmer who is unlikely to be called upon to play (this is exactly what I have chosen to do). G is not able to accept that option and yet he and his wife are simply not wired to thrive in hyper-competitive desi society. Being FOBs, they are not welcome in the "superior" ABCD circles. The locals if they are not overly prejudiced are polite but distant. They have their own lives and are not desperately seeking to befriend random FOBs that happen by.
G finds himself left with no good options. Like a man stranded on an alien planet he seeks signs of life - surely there are desis who think like him and his spouse. Surely they can find a community somewhere. He is not excited about raising a child in the isolation he and his wife find themselves in. While I am able to sympathize with him, I have no guidance to offer.
He and his wife have tried to socialize with desis in their city (they have lived in several up to now) and have faced challenges not very unlike my own. I used to imagine that desis are very accepting of two parent families as they view this to be the normal family configuration. Apparently not.
G has lived in America since he came for grad school, worked almost every kind of odd job there is to help pay his bills as a student. He is not the lowest common denominator desi IT worker in that he has a wide variety of interests outside his day job and can carry on an intelligent conversation that has nothing to do with technology or immigration. He happens to be a Bengali who like me never lived in Kolkata. He would love to be part of something pan-Indian in America but that is not the easiest thing to find as he has come to realize.
The desi society here is fragmented in many different ways - FOBs, ABCDs, by region and language, by vintage (as defined by visa and citizenship status) and most importantly by net-worth. This is almost the modern day caste system only with different parameters to define the different stratas of the hierarchy. G says, the minute he encounters a desi, he can almost hear a the click of their mental calculator going on. He is asked the typical questions - Does he own or rent ? Which school district does he live in ? How far along is he in the immigration process ? Where did he go to school in India and America ? What does he do for a living ? Does his wife work ? What does he drive and so on.
By when he has completed the de regieur survey, the other desi has awarded him a composite score. This score would determine if he is in or out of their social circle. He could choose to be in and be treated with condescension if the desi in question rated him lower than themselves. Conversely he could have been rated higher than the other person in which case he would be treated like an interloper if he decided to butt into their circle.
The best outcome in this situation would be an equal score where he will be accepted without overt prejudice. But it gets tricky at this point. Every one is at the start line but desis don't just spend their life standing there smelling the roses. They dash off to reach their destinations and the race is brutally competitive. There is no aspect of life that is untouched by competition.
You either play the sport or step out to be a low caliber bench warmer who is unlikely to be called upon to play (this is exactly what I have chosen to do). G is not able to accept that option and yet he and his wife are simply not wired to thrive in hyper-competitive desi society. Being FOBs, they are not welcome in the "superior" ABCD circles. The locals if they are not overly prejudiced are polite but distant. They have their own lives and are not desperately seeking to befriend random FOBs that happen by.
G finds himself left with no good options. Like a man stranded on an alien planet he seeks signs of life - surely there are desis who think like him and his spouse. Surely they can find a community somewhere. He is not excited about raising a child in the isolation he and his wife find themselves in. While I am able to sympathize with him, I have no guidance to offer.
Labels: DesiPundit, Desis
Saturday, July 04, 2009
Saying Cheese
The intensity of smile, school yearbooks photos and successful marriages are correlated according to a study. I specially like that yearbook pictures could be a good predictor of a person's marriage.
My sense is she realizes that I have a lot of responsibilities to juggle, conflicting priorities to balance and lack the helping hand of a partner. Hopefully, she can imagine the kind of mother I might have been if I had the support I am missing. Maybe by doing a somewhat decent job as a mother, I might kindle in her the desire to give more to her children than I have been able to give her. Hopefully, in time she will see that as a natural by-product to a good, happy marriage and want it. At any rate, I am glad J almost always has a big smile on her face in her pictures - yearbook included. I want to believe it is an accurate predictor of her marriage.
Overall, the results indicate that people who frown in photos are five times more likely to get a divorce than people who smile.
While the connection is striking, the researchers stress that they can't conclude anything about the cause of the correlation.
My sense is she realizes that I have a lot of responsibilities to juggle, conflicting priorities to balance and lack the helping hand of a partner. Hopefully, she can imagine the kind of mother I might have been if I had the support I am missing. Maybe by doing a somewhat decent job as a mother, I might kindle in her the desire to give more to her children than I have been able to give her. Hopefully, in time she will see that as a natural by-product to a good, happy marriage and want it. At any rate, I am glad J almost always has a big smile on her face in her pictures - yearbook included. I want to believe it is an accurate predictor of her marriage.
Friday, July 03, 2009
Hand Movements
According to this article in Scientific American hand gestures are correlated to our ability to understand and learn new concepts. The comments on the article make for interesting reading as well. In my culture, gesturing has never been a big part of communication. It would generally be viewed as distracting rather than helpful. I have noticed though that when giving discourses holy men and women do use hand gestures - they are few but highly eloquent. Likewise with artists, performers, musicians and dancers - gestures are part of their language.
At the other end of the spectrum, it is common to see socio-economically depressed people given to elaborate gestures involving hand and body to get their point across - and I say this in the context of Indian society. I would imagine some of the negative connotation associated with gesturing too much while talking stems from here. Folks probably don't want to come across as uncultured, uneducated or impoverished. If the findings reported in the article are correct, I wonder what that would mean for those of us who are culturally conditioned to gesture little or not at all.
At the other end of the spectrum, it is common to see socio-economically depressed people given to elaborate gestures involving hand and body to get their point across - and I say this in the context of Indian society. I would imagine some of the negative connotation associated with gesturing too much while talking stems from here. Folks probably don't want to come across as uncultured, uneducated or impoverished. If the findings reported in the article are correct, I wonder what that would mean for those of us who are culturally conditioned to gesture little or not at all.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Telling Too Much
The phrase confessional journalism maybe relatively new but the genre is definitely familiar. Hadley Freeman describes its characteristics with remarkable accuracy :
Here's how it goes: a female journalist describes her obsession with her weight/breasts/ageing face/food or alcohol problems/inability to have a happy relationship. The article is illustrated by the journalist looking as miserable as possible. There are tales of daily woe. It concludes with the writer still sufficiently unhappy to be commissionable for another very similar piece.
While online and print media are replete with example of such outpourings - kvetching is certainly not the exclusive realm of women. Men will chronicle just as faithfully their many problems with women, alcohol, career (or the lack of one) among a host of other topics. That Freeman considers confessional journalism a serious setback to "feminism" is a testament to the fragility (if not irrelevance) of the movement itself.
Aside from everything else, this kind of journalism sets feminism back by about 50 years, because not only does it perpetuate offensive stereotypes about women as needy, helpless, childlike narcissists, it suggests that the most interesting thing a woman can offer up to others is her own battered, starved, bloated, enhanced or reduced body. And that seems a lot sadder to me than any shocking revelation I ever read in a single piece of confessional journalism.
Confessional writing is often the interesting thing a man or a woman can write. Take away the designation of "journalism" and describe it as an "essay" and there is no problem at all.
Here's how it goes: a female journalist describes her obsession with her weight/breasts/ageing face/food or alcohol problems/inability to have a happy relationship. The article is illustrated by the journalist looking as miserable as possible. There are tales of daily woe. It concludes with the writer still sufficiently unhappy to be commissionable for another very similar piece.
While online and print media are replete with example of such outpourings - kvetching is certainly not the exclusive realm of women. Men will chronicle just as faithfully their many problems with women, alcohol, career (or the lack of one) among a host of other topics. That Freeman considers confessional journalism a serious setback to "feminism" is a testament to the fragility (if not irrelevance) of the movement itself.
Aside from everything else, this kind of journalism sets feminism back by about 50 years, because not only does it perpetuate offensive stereotypes about women as needy, helpless, childlike narcissists, it suggests that the most interesting thing a woman can offer up to others is her own battered, starved, bloated, enhanced or reduced body. And that seems a lot sadder to me than any shocking revelation I ever read in a single piece of confessional journalism.
Confessional writing is often the interesting thing a man or a woman can write. Take away the designation of "journalism" and describe it as an "essay" and there is no problem at all.
Labels: Women
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Friends With Benefits
Friends with benefits is a relatively new concept in the annals of relationships and is getting to be fairly commonplace. In the on-line world, things are possibly much worse - there is no friendship involved in this type of short-term contact for sexual gratification. I find these ideas curious for several reasons and wonder what there might be in it for the woman.
Based on the sheer volume of literature and advice on the subject of how to find a man of your dreams, reel him in and get him to walk down the aisle, it seems like she is not getting a lot besides the "benefits" in the average relationship. When a man plays the field he is a player or a stud but a woman in similar circumstances is usually a slut. This is not to say any one characterization is better or worse that the other - but they are distinctly different.
If a woman is angling to catch a man and get married to him (and God forbid have his babies), she is way too needy and clingy but when a man turns his thoughts to marriage he is just a serious and sensitive guy that any woman should be overjoyed to have in her life. There are bridezillas but no equivalent term for grooms - apparently marriage still means a great deal more to women than it does to men. In short, this is not a gender-neutral issue.
If there is literature around how to find the woman of your dreams, more likely than not it is replete with wisdom on pick-up strategies that are most likely to succeed. In such books, a man will likely find advice on stalling techniques when being pursued by a woman determined to become his wife. At any rate, this whole friends with benefits business just makes things official so women can stop whining about their less than satisfactory state of affairs.
Is this then a way for her to avoid being hurt and betrayed by preempting the man's refusal to gratify her emotional needs. In calling a relationship "friendship with benefits" she is making sure that she has a friend past the expiration of the beneficial relationship - something that does not usually happen in the more traditional romantic involvement. A breakup is the end of both friendship and benefits at the same time.
This way she does not have to lose everything even after the man has moved on. For the man there is a huge advantage. Whereas he would at least be expected to provide some amount of emotional support in the relationship to enjoy the benefits, he is completely off the hook now. He gets everything he was getting before minus the obligation to be there for the woman emotionally. It is the best of both worlds as far as he is concerned.
It seems to me that women dig themselves into deeper and bigger holes as they go forth liberating themselves from the shackles of traditional gender stereotypes; in their misbegotten efforts at gender equality in relationships. Through their over-zealous efforts at parity with men, they end up ceding the real gains made by the gender over many generations in less "progressive" times.
Ironically (even if not directly related to the topic at hand), today's women are apparently unhappier than ever.The first step in achieving any form of "equality" might be to stop thinking about how to get a man and keep him. As long as that is even a premise, all talk of equality is moot.
Based on the sheer volume of literature and advice on the subject of how to find a man of your dreams, reel him in and get him to walk down the aisle, it seems like she is not getting a lot besides the "benefits" in the average relationship. When a man plays the field he is a player or a stud but a woman in similar circumstances is usually a slut. This is not to say any one characterization is better or worse that the other - but they are distinctly different.
If a woman is angling to catch a man and get married to him (and God forbid have his babies), she is way too needy and clingy but when a man turns his thoughts to marriage he is just a serious and sensitive guy that any woman should be overjoyed to have in her life. There are bridezillas but no equivalent term for grooms - apparently marriage still means a great deal more to women than it does to men. In short, this is not a gender-neutral issue.
If there is literature around how to find the woman of your dreams, more likely than not it is replete with wisdom on pick-up strategies that are most likely to succeed. In such books, a man will likely find advice on stalling techniques when being pursued by a woman determined to become his wife. At any rate, this whole friends with benefits business just makes things official so women can stop whining about their less than satisfactory state of affairs.
Is this then a way for her to avoid being hurt and betrayed by preempting the man's refusal to gratify her emotional needs. In calling a relationship "friendship with benefits" she is making sure that she has a friend past the expiration of the beneficial relationship - something that does not usually happen in the more traditional romantic involvement. A breakup is the end of both friendship and benefits at the same time.
This way she does not have to lose everything even after the man has moved on. For the man there is a huge advantage. Whereas he would at least be expected to provide some amount of emotional support in the relationship to enjoy the benefits, he is completely off the hook now. He gets everything he was getting before minus the obligation to be there for the woman emotionally. It is the best of both worlds as far as he is concerned.
It seems to me that women dig themselves into deeper and bigger holes as they go forth liberating themselves from the shackles of traditional gender stereotypes; in their misbegotten efforts at gender equality in relationships. Through their over-zealous efforts at parity with men, they end up ceding the real gains made by the gender over many generations in less "progressive" times.
Ironically (even if not directly related to the topic at hand), today's women are apparently unhappier than ever.The first step in achieving any form of "equality" might be to stop thinking about how to get a man and keep him. As long as that is even a premise, all talk of equality is moot.
Labels: Relationships
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Tracing Roots
The idea of tracing back one's ancestors to 60,000 years ago is a fascinating one. This is a research in progress at National Geographic. To participate the first step involves purchasing a kit that allows the participant to send back a check swab for DNA analysis. Your anonymity is guaranteed. The success of the project clearly depends on the size and diversity of the database and it seems with a kit priced at $100 + that may be the biggest obstacle on the way to success.
In the exhaustive list of FAQs, I did not find one that asks how this project could be viable if the only way to get data were to be people willing and able to spend $100 to trace their ancestry. I would imagine there is large amounts of existing data - collected at low or no cost to the participant.
Now that it exists, this the monetization opportunity by appealing to the curiosity of the those who don't mind paying as much as they would need to in order to satiate it. This is a lot like paying for a seat on a space-craft though the price tags are orders of magnitude apart. It may not be too long before DIY DNA Analyzers become affordable enough for a lot of people - that combined with public databases could do make the business of ancestry tracing far more egalitarian and in the process more accurate.
In the exhaustive list of FAQs, I did not find one that asks how this project could be viable if the only way to get data were to be people willing and able to spend $100 to trace their ancestry. I would imagine there is large amounts of existing data - collected at low or no cost to the participant.
Now that it exists, this the monetization opportunity by appealing to the curiosity of the those who don't mind paying as much as they would need to in order to satiate it. This is a lot like paying for a seat on a space-craft though the price tags are orders of magnitude apart. It may not be too long before DIY DNA Analyzers become affordable enough for a lot of people - that combined with public databases could do make the business of ancestry tracing far more egalitarian and in the process more accurate.
Labels: Science
Monday, June 29, 2009
Shouting Fire
HBO's Shouting Fire is a collection of stories about Free Speech under attack in America held together by the narrative of Martin Garbus, the film-maker's father who is also a First Amendment attorney. One of the most powerful moments in the film comes when Garbus explains that the protecting people's freedom of speech requires protecting that of those who hate you and can potentially cause you harm. It drives home the point about true freedom being absolute rather than relative - the only kind of that is worth fighting for.
The stories come from across the political spectrum which proves that voices of dissent are not safe no matter what side of the ideological divide they come from. There is Lebanese-American Debbie Almontaser who is attacked because of a convoluted association some people found between her and an offensive tee shirt, a young man named Chase Harper who is suspended from his high school because he wore a tee shirt proclaiming homosexuality to be shameful.In both cases, the individual's right to free speech came under fire.
Liz Garbus presents each story in context of the time and surrounding circumstances which give the viewer a keen appreciation for what the average American is up against in today's world. Her father reminds us that the right to free speech cannot be taken for granted merely because it is guaranteed in the American constitution ; history has borne witness to many occasions where the right was temporary suspended ostensibly for the "greater good". He believes Americans must be prepared to fight every day for preserving this most fundamental of all rights.
The stories come from across the political spectrum which proves that voices of dissent are not safe no matter what side of the ideological divide they come from. There is Lebanese-American Debbie Almontaser who is attacked because of a convoluted association some people found between her and an offensive tee shirt, a young man named Chase Harper who is suspended from his high school because he wore a tee shirt proclaiming homosexuality to be shameful.In both cases, the individual's right to free speech came under fire.
Liz Garbus presents each story in context of the time and surrounding circumstances which give the viewer a keen appreciation for what the average American is up against in today's world. Her father reminds us that the right to free speech cannot be taken for granted merely because it is guaranteed in the American constitution ; history has borne witness to many occasions where the right was temporary suspended ostensibly for the "greater good". He believes Americans must be prepared to fight every day for preserving this most fundamental of all rights.
Labels: Cinema
Sunday, June 28, 2009
A Poem By Eeva Kipli
Read a beautiful, short poem by Finnish poet Eeva Kipli :
When sorrow fades
Come the memories,
And each of them
Hurts uniquely.
I wonder what comes at the cusp of fading sorrow and the rising swell of memories. I know I have felt strangely numb, it feels as if time is tied by a tourniquet. You seek respite and want it to loosen - for things to start flowing once more. Then after memories have been relieved in full-color, they recede too. Finally, there comes a time when there is room left behind by departed sorrow and memory - a place of stark emptiness that nothing seems to fill.
When sorrow fades
Come the memories,
And each of them
Hurts uniquely.
I wonder what comes at the cusp of fading sorrow and the rising swell of memories. I know I have felt strangely numb, it feels as if time is tied by a tourniquet. You seek respite and want it to loosen - for things to start flowing once more. Then after memories have been relieved in full-color, they recede too. Finally, there comes a time when there is room left behind by departed sorrow and memory - a place of stark emptiness that nothing seems to fill.
Labels: Poetry
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Talent And Effort
If what I have seen within my own extended family is part of a broader trend, I would agree completely with the author of the book Talent Is Overrated. I have quite a few relatives with quirky, sometimes eccentric personalities and one or more serious talents. Almost all of them were too lazy or complacent to apply themselves, put the hard-work necessary to achieve anything remarkable from those natural gifts. Most if not all of them were openly disdainful of those of us who were not nearly as brilliant but persevered to achieve whatever it was we wanted to. It was as if hard-work was the exclusive domain of the dim-witted and we were wearing our badge of feeble-mindedness by being so hard-working.
As it turns out, the more "average" of the lot who put in the relentless hours of "deliberate practice" the author refers to, ended up faring better than the extremely talented. That said, I am big believer in the virtue of hard-work. While one cannot control the amount of innate talent one has (or does not have), effort is entirely in one's control and that should confer a feeling of empowerment, in my mind. One of the first things I taught J was the Thomas Edison quotation "Genius is one per-cent inspiration and ninety-nine per-cent perspiration". Needless to say, the hare and tortoise parable has been repeated a gazillion times in our household to ensure the lesson is well learned and never forgotten.
As it turns out, the more "average" of the lot who put in the relentless hours of "deliberate practice" the author refers to, ended up faring better than the extremely talented. That said, I am big believer in the virtue of hard-work. While one cannot control the amount of innate talent one has (or does not have), effort is entirely in one's control and that should confer a feeling of empowerment, in my mind. One of the first things I taught J was the Thomas Edison quotation "Genius is one per-cent inspiration and ninety-nine per-cent perspiration". Needless to say, the hare and tortoise parable has been repeated a gazillion times in our household to ensure the lesson is well learned and never forgotten.
Friday, June 26, 2009
For The Kids
Reading about this scientific study that proves that staying married for the sake of the kids does not always result in the desired outcome for the children, is vindication for parents who have decided to go solo. Several years ago when my marriage turned into this cesspool of anger, conflict and bitterness, leaving with J seemed like the best option. We have had more than our fair share of challenges as direct consequence of that decision but J has not lacked peace and quiet in the house.
In high conflict households, children go about their lives with a sense of rudderlessness. They have no one to take direction from or look up to, no one who is always emotionally available to address their problems. Some marriages take a lot of work to keep them viable - when spouses need to invest disproportionately into their relationship, their ability to attend to the needs of the children suffers. Single parent households have no such distractions and this often works out to the child's advantange.
I have long believed that using children to glue a bad marriage is the worst way to go about the job. Children are not supposed to and cannot mend the relationship between their parents. By placing them in a position where that is the desired effect, parents burden them with the most onerous kind of responsibility. Instead, they should take ownership of their problems and resolve it independently of their children. Sometimes, the only solution might be to end the marriage and that could be the best thing to do - specially for the sake of the kids.
In high conflict households, children go about their lives with a sense of rudderlessness. They have no one to take direction from or look up to, no one who is always emotionally available to address their problems. Some marriages take a lot of work to keep them viable - when spouses need to invest disproportionately into their relationship, their ability to attend to the needs of the children suffers. Single parent households have no such distractions and this often works out to the child's advantange.
I have long believed that using children to glue a bad marriage is the worst way to go about the job. Children are not supposed to and cannot mend the relationship between their parents. By placing them in a position where that is the desired effect, parents burden them with the most onerous kind of responsibility. Instead, they should take ownership of their problems and resolve it independently of their children. Sometimes, the only solution might be to end the marriage and that could be the best thing to do - specially for the sake of the kids.
Labels: Divorce, SingleMother
